So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
