when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
