Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Randomize
