You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
