Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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