That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
