do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize