So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
