so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I lost the right to judge tonight
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
