He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
