She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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