I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
