Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
