so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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