I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
