So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
