how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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