in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
