I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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