well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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