i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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