Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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