Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Randomize
