he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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