So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Randomize
