I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
