whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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