her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
