he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
