I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Semen is not good for contacts.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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