STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Do vagina's smell?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
