I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
