I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
