Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
