I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
