this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize
