Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
