No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
