Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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