Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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