Nicole vs. Life
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
