Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
