community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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