Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
