Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
His nipple licking is glorious
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
