it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
