Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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