it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
