I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
