he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
