did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
