Do you still have your period?
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Randomize
