Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
