i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
